I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
