Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
