awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
