I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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