then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
