just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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