remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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