Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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