feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
