Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize