I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
