Heybabeimwearingurpanties
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
