I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i think i have two assholes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
