Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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