Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize