everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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