I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
