I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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