Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
