You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
