we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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