ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
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Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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