woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I want to be your penis for a week.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
