where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
