Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
