I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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