According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize