We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
