You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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