are you still at the devil's house?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
