I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize