so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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