I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
