Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
