i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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