gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
