I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
