So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
