we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
as a side note pls kill me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
