hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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