i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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