i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is wine microwaveable?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
