Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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