Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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