I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
