you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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