Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
