well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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