this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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