if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
