You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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