What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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