Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
