Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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