he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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