i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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