I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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