Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Alive.
So much puke
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
