last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Who died my cat blue again?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
