her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
