So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
