the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
