im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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