trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
