what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
