Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
