that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
