So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
