his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's get the cat blown out
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Sorry about my life...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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